[FAIL] How To Make Pancakes Like Auntie Rara
- 4 1/2 tablespoons of flour (this is called 1 cup, but I don't think my mugs is the size of 1 cup)
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla-ey-watery-thingy (from that small bottle you buy in a supermarket)
- 1 egg (bigger is better)
- 3 tablespoons milk
- 2 tablespoon oil
- a few sprinkles of cinnamon powder
- 2 bowls (small)
- 1 small pan (and then realising you don't have a small pan, so you used a big pan. you'll regret this)
- a whisk or a fork or a chopstick, depending on your chosen level of difficulty
- a sieve (depending on how fail you are)
- ladle (or giant spoon)
- Choose Level of difficulty, [Easy] (whisk), [Medium] (fork) or [Insane] (chopstick). I will assume that you'll proceed on [Easy]. Alter directions accordingly.
- Put all the dry powdery stuff into 1 bowl (flour, sugar, baking soda), pretend like you're making any progress by attempting to mix all the white stuff together. Give up after a maximum of 5 stirs, lol.
- Put all the wet sticky oily stuff into the 2nd bowl (vanilla-thingy, milk, oil) and crack the egg in. Panic because you can't tell if you've put any eggshells in too. Berate your existence and promise yourself to never be so stupid again, only to repeat the same mistake the next time. Sadly mix all the things together, then angrily because the oil hates the egg.
- Dump the contents of the 2nd bowl into the 1st bowl slowly through the sieve in anticipation of catching any egg shells. Realise that there is a tiny lump of egg shell in the bottom of the 1st bowl stuck to the bottom. Regret using the sieve because the egg white can't stop having sex with the sieve. Scrape the egg white off disapprovingly like a parent.
- Attempt to drop a few bits of cinnamon powder into the bowl, accidentally add too much, then try failingly to scoop up as much brown powder as possible without breaking out into tears.
- Mix the dry and wet stuff together angrily. This is where you will regret your decision if you chose [Medium] or [Insane].
- After you're done questioning your existence and survival in this cruel world thus far, take the ill-sized pan, wash it, and put it on the stove. Wait for the blobs of water to bubble, then realise you need to get a spatula and ladle
- Attempt to pour a little bit of oil on the pan, then realise you poured too much. You guiltily look around for passers-by and pour the extra down the drain or into an empty bowl.
- Wait for the oil to heat up a bit, then drop a bit of the mixture into the oil to test. Accidentally drop too much and end up making your first pancake drenched in oil despite the fact that you already drained most of your fail-oil just now.
- Proceed to add bits of pancake mix to your ill-sized pan because your pancake is in a weird shape, wishing you chose something smaller.
- When bubbles appear, attempt to flip the pancake, but realise that you added too much mixture towards the end and the top is still wet. It also sticks to your spatula. Your curse yourself. Eventually, you get to flip the pancake, but not before making the bottom charred.
- There, you finished your first pancake, 1 side charred, one side unevenly brown. Dump it onto a plate.
- Attempt to make the next few pancakes, hopefully less fail. Dump the rest onto the plate.
- Cry and think about your life as the oil drips downwards and pools on the bottom of the plate.
- Take fork and grab a bit of pancake
- Put part into mouth
- Choke on excessive cinnamon.
- Repeat until finish, or until you throw up.
And there you go! How to make pancakes!
Labels: Cooking With Mama Xin
Written in blood @ 3:42 AM